When Work Starts to Affect Your Appearance

After reading about my urban-dwelling, high-rise working, sister's designer outfit today, I feel even more like an overweight lesbian in my clothes. I've decided this is to be blamed on my coworkers.

Today, I am wearing khaki pants that I have had for several years. They came from Old Navy. They are saggy in the ass. They give me a muffin top, and they're not even a good color. But I still wear them to work. Why? Because I work with 3 old women. I am wearing a crew neck t-shirt that the aforementioned sister was giving to the Good Will, because when I wake up in the morning and go in my closet, I think "Ugh...t-shirt today." Why? Because I work with 3 old women.

Don't get me wrong. I love clothes. I love getting dressed on the weekends. And on the rare occasion, I do dress attractively at work, but I am almost always regretful that I have done so.

For example, last Valentine's Day fell on a week day. I didn't want to come home from work and take a full on shower. That seemed like a lot of effort, and I didn't want to intimidate the boyfriend. So I thought, I'll wear my Valentine's gear to work. Then I can just freshen up before going out.

It's a three-quarter-sleeve wrap dress. Very work appropriate. Yes, it happened to be leopard print, but isn't that almost a neutral now? And it's not like I wore it with fishnet hose and red heels. I wore opaque tights and black heels. Yet I knew what the reaction would be. Not, "You look pretty today." "Cute dress." No, it would be "WOO WOO! SOMEBODY DRESSED SEXY TODAY!" "MY GOD, HALEY, LOOK AT YOU!!!"

Sometimes even a slightly higher heel than usual will elicit a similar response. I cannot stand this. It's either my inner-adolescent who still hates having attention drawn in her direction, or it's that a 60 year old woman saying "sexy" to me makes me projectile vomit.

Therefore, lesbian gear it is for me. Until I get a job with men.